If It’s Not Okay Then It’s Not The End.

Am currently sitting against the sofa with my headphones in full blast listening to ‘Celtic Dream’ from Lord Of The Dance and am in such a trance of tranquility and meditative presence that I decided to write another article proclaiming the importance of self-love, self-belief and self-sacrifice. Maybe it’s the nostalgia sinking in because this heavenly piece was the song I grew up with, from the age of 3 where I would dance in front of the tv box and mimic the tap/ballet dancers as they floated across the stage almost like angels swirling hypnotically in heaven. Or maybe I’m just a bored, sappy 19 year old who has nothing better to do than attempt to sound wise and educate the cyber-world on the brevity of existence and pursuit of self-discovery through my antagonising didacticism.

So basically, my life right now would seem pretty much perfect, I have an adoring boyfriend who treats me like a Queen, I’m studying a uni course which I absolutely enjoy, have a part-time job as an english tutor and my health and well-being is pretty much ‘parfait’. However, the only downfall is that I feel as though I have been (for the past year and a half) stuck in a rut where I am hopeless of ever escaping from this maze of depravity; to be able to live somewhere that i can truly call ‘home’. It was only recently (a month to be exact) where the initial steps of getting one step closer to my dream pursued. I got a job, and yes to many people that may seem like the norm but to me, switching from casual jobs and constantly working temporarily provided little to no income. Another outbreak last month; I successfully transferred from Social Inquiry to Journalism, my dream career (as you would’ve known by now through the consecutive braggings about it).

I know what you might be thinking, that I’m still pretty far from my goal, I haven’t secured a proper job in the Journalism sector, i’m not even close to be able to support myself to even discuss properties in Sydney, and the million dollar question, where does my boyfriend come into play for all this? And this, my dear friends is how the quote ‘if it’s not okay then it’s not the end’ arises. We have discussed and briefly planned our future and, in the privileged position we are, it is safe to say that we have a good chance of being ‘more than financially independent’. He is studying medical science and hopes to work in a field of doctoring, a highly respected career in today’s society which bounds him a more than satisfying income. As for me however, it is not that definite to settle a stable income, however I’m going to work my butt off to attain HD’s to lead me to work for numerous internships and become a successfully crafted journalist/editor/reporter.

As the quote reads, in this current point of time in my life, things are looking dubious and pretty much ‘not okay’. And for the longest time, the thought of never making it big in society or ever getting out of the rutt of normality really pulled me down. But then I remembered reading all the self-love proclaimed books of positivity and quotes about working hard to get where you want in life and it dawned on me; a journey is littered with upheavals and seemingly dead-ends but irrespective of all the struggles and pain you WILL eventually arrive upon the end of your journey. And all those mishaps along the way will all make it worth it. Right now, I have begun this perilous journey and the misfortunes have stumbled it’s way in front of me, begging to pull me off-course. Of course I have to work hard and not depend purely on wishful thinking, but my passion, firm beliefs and newly found resistance towards the people and situations bringing me down form the path to my desired goal.

I’m rambling, and all these thoughts are cluttered hopelessly on this page so i probably don’t make any sense. But I just love that feeling of hope that once receives and assurance that although your life right now may suck and you feel as though the whole world has turned against you, it WILL get better i can guarantee you that.

Author: stylesteph

21 year old Sydney student (born and bred) studying a Bachelor's of Journalism at UTS. My blog is a little hub of all things fashion, beauty and lifestyle related as well as a few shares of my favourite things.

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